It’s Saturday night. I’m in a somber mood. GAAP is dying, and there seems nothing better than to get punch drunk and remember all the good times. So I have broken out a bag of Sun Chips (original flavor) and a can of Diet Coke (caffeinated, of course) and am ready to blog all my troubles away.
Tonight’s subject is limericks. One does not need a reason to launch into a merry recitation of favorite limericks. When drinking Diet Cokes and eating Sun chips, one is beyond all reason.
A limerick is a humorous poem that is only sometimes funny. How fitting! I’m a sometimes funny accountant.
It is sometimes said that the only good limerick is a dirty limerick. Who can forget, “There once was a girl from Nantucket,” or “There once was a friar named Tuck.” Because The Summa is G-rated, there won’t be any good limericks tonight. But there will be limericks. I hope you find them humorous.
Limericks have a standard form. There is a single stanza of five lines. The first, second and fifth lines usually have eight or nine syllables and rhyme with one another, and the third and fourth lines usually have five or six syllables and rhyme (but not with lines one, two and five).
Limericks from Here-Be-Limerick-Poems. Here are two limericks that seem to refer to financial accounting. The intent of these limericks doesn’t seem to elicit a laugh, but to highlight a sober reality of the accountant’s life with just a smidge of humor.
The budgeting work’s almost through
But there’s still one last thing I must do
Pull a hare from a hat
So that number’s in black
From this column of red ones in view.
Net worth is the old bottom line
And for others, I spend all my time
To come up with this number
And sometimes I wonder
Why I’m working on theirs, not on mine?
The next limerick, also from Here-Be-Limerick-Poems, deals with tax accounting. The humorous intent of this limerick is obvious.
I see your deductions are few
You spend more than you make, and it’s true
You must live in a fog
No, you can’t claim the dog!
Not while I do the taxes for you.
From Mark Lee (UK chartered accountant). Don’t know about the humor, though it does speak to reality.
There was an accountant called Max
Whose main line was working in tax
He couldn’t wait
For the 1st February date
When he could have a rest and relax
Now for some of mine. The first has little tie to accounting except that the main character is referred to as an accountant. The humor lies in an accountant who has overcharged the limit of his bank card. The scorekeeper has lost track of the score of his personal finances.
There was an accountant from Fargo
Who needed gas to make his car go,
Took out a piece of plastic
Zero charge space turned him gastric
Now Fargo is truly too far to go.
The next limerick is a simple play on the words of debit and credit. Jokes about debit and credit are not funny, but they are treasured for they are metaphorical keys to the accountant’s washroom.
An accountant once wrote a debere
While talking to gf on blackberry
With no credere in sight
This journal entry’s a blight
And she threw him a big ole raspberry.
Debit and credit – - David Albrecht