Over the years, I’ve celebrated Accountant’s Day in many ways. One year I took juggling lessons. Then I experimented on a great recipe to cook the books. Another year I passed out pencil erasers on a busy street corner. I almost always count jelly beans.
And so I attempted this year. I woke up at midnight to be the first in Southern California to count the beans. However, I lost the count when I couldn’t move my lips and chew at the same time. In other words, I ate a package of Trader Joe’s Gourmet Jelly Beans without counting them. Do you think I’ll go to hell?
This year, I’ve been working on a top ten list of things to think about today.
10. Counting is mandatory, a-counting is not.
9. Your wife doesn’t depreciate you any more.
8. The tax loophole named after you pays royalties.
7. The dry cleaner won’t charge for removing today’s coffee stains.
6. Would the course of history have been different if debits were on the right?
5. Everyone complains you are accrual.
4. You are certified but not crazy.
3. You are a debit to your profession.
2. How to Frame a Figg (on Netflix) is your favorite movie.
1. Today only, no spouse can contradict an auditor’s opinion.
Debit and credit – – David Albrecht